To Blog or not to blog…

OK. I know. I’m not the best of bloggers. It’s been two years since I set this up and I have only made two contributions. I have the best of intentions, a gazillion things to write about, but I lack the discipline it must take to post regularly enough to transform this from a poorly populated archive to the real ‘putting it out there’ blog I had intended.

So here I am, back at the keyboard after a frustratingly unproductive stint of editing some of my multitudes of unfinished novels (my own form of procrastination), prepared to give it another go. I can’t make any promises, but I must say that having someone out there who might actually take the time to read this has inspired me to try that little bit harder.

First I need to update things. Now that I’ve learned the difference between a blurb and a synopsis I intend to give that section a makeover (hopefully soon). 

My real problem is focus. I find it difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time.  I call it the “Ooooohhhh! Shiny!” effect. This means I start something with enough enthusiasm to see it done twice over, and then become distracted by another idea or dream that just has to be penned down.  This would all be fine if I could then return to the first writing project, but then 1000 words becomes 40,000 and soon something shiny comes along again and I move onto the next new story. Yes, this has left me with a whole lot of potentially self-publishable, half-finished manuscripts, I’ve got the quantity part down pat, but that’s as far as I get.  Those that I have finished I edit, and re-edit, not knowing if I’m actually improving thing or just crabbing back and forth. The one section of the manuscript that I did give to a professional editor was returned with some great suggestions and encouraging comments, but all I could afford for her to do was to give me an overview. Having the spelling and grammar corrected would have broken the bank. This is where I learned what a synopsis is, as the editor provided me with a great one, but this was only the first 60k of words in a ~250k novel that is part of a 6 book fantasy series of which I have written 5.5 of the books

Time for a deep breath. 

I think that’s enough of a rant for now. Hopefully it will not be my last for a while (fingers and toes crossed).

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Coffee

I think I’m putting far too much pressure on my morning cup of coffee. I drink in the aroma as it flows, liquid gold into my oversized mug and the world is full of promise. I take a sip and the bumps of the day instantly smooth… And then the kids bring out the homework that was due yesterday, the dog eats a school sock, traffic appears, work is still waiting and I see coffee for what it is… A lie! 
But then I hit my office, make another cup, drink in the aroma… Coffffeee. Gooood.

A tentative step…

Writing is all I seem to think, live, breath, and yet when it comes to letting go of my treasured thoughts, I always manage to find an excuse to bury them back down wherever I dragged them out of. I began writing fiction three years ago and, at present, have seven finished manuscripts and many more almost manuscripts taking up space on my hard drive. One of my fears is that that they will remain there indefinitely, the characters, their plights and their worlds lifeless in all but my own daydreams. But the greater fear, the one that stops me from making any serious attempts to be published, stems from a long standing struggle with self belief.

These are my first baby steps towards sharing my words in the hope I can teach myself to worry less about what those reading these words might think, and more about what a shame it would be if they were never shared at all.